Here’s an interesting story.

A divorced man with custody of his child wants to get that child circumcised. His ex-wife disagrees with the surgery. Here are the details:
1. The father is a recent convert to Judaism.
2. The father scheduled the circumcision in 2004.
3. The boy is now 12 years old.
4. While the father claims the son now wants to be circumcised as a rite of passage in his conversion to Judaism, the mother claims the son told her he’s afraid to defy his father.
5. Did I mention that if the father wins, the boy will be circumcised at the age of 12? Just checking.

This case brings up all sorts of questions of legal and religious rights and freedoms and has the potential to have great consequences and implications. Here are a few questions to consider:
1. Should a parent, indeed, have the right to raise a child in a certain religion? The general consensus is yes. But at what age should the child get to make his own choices in religion? At what age should he begin learning about other religions? At what age should he get to choose whether he wants to have surgery that isn’t medically necessary but may be necessary for his religion?
2. Let’s look into that one more in depth: Should a parent have the right to force a child to have a surgery that isn’t medically necessary? Many are comparing this kind of surgery to cosmetic surgery. So, should a parent have the right to force his child to have a nose job at the age of 12? Seems a little unnecessary, but what if that nose job is necessary for that child to become a member of a religion? I know, nose jobs and circumcisions are quite different. I’m just playing the devil’s advocate. Stick with me.
3. When it comes to a child making a choice (like willingly having surgery), what age should that child be in order for adults to confirm that the choice was really the child’s and not the child’s as solely influenced by adults? In other words, when is a child really making a decision on his own and when is he just trying to please daddy? And how do we know? Aren’t we always influenced by something when we make decisions, even as adults? Let’s take an extreme example. What if the choice is to be a part of religious snake-biting rituals? Should the child be able to choose whether he gets bit by a snake, or can Dad decide that for him?
4. Doesn’t mother know best anyway? And at what point does the mother get a say? If the father has legal custody and wants to raise the child as a Jew, but the mother is a Muslim and wants the child to learn about Islam — should the law prohibit that child from learning about Islam from the mother simply because she doesn’t have legal custody? If it doesn’t prohibit it, should the father allow the mother to also ask the child to perform Islamic rites? What if the child says he wants to be a part of both religions and is conscious of that choice?
5. Is it necessary to change laws over this? The law currently says the custodial parent has the right to make religious decisions for the child. Is this law out of date? Is the prevalence of divorce and custodial matters a good enough reason for updating the law? If we change the law to allow the non-custodial parent to make decisions, will more unfit parents have the right to make decisions for their children? Won’t that also affect other custodial laws?

It’s all a lot to think about. If anything, one has to sympathize with the boy who has been thinking about his impending circumcision since 2004. For some interesting (and sometimes funny) comments, check out this site or this forum.

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